So, you feel you've reached a point in your life, whether for the first time, or the fifth, when you're ready to settle down, and enter a relationship which has the potential to lead to a lifetime commitment. Being busy with a full-time job, friends and family, you don't want to waste time and energy on potential partners who might be fine for some other girl, but who would never be right for you.
Every girl will have different qualifications in mind for her Prince Charming. It is helpful to write your requirements down before you start to look in earnest. That way, you won't be waylaid by an enchanting smile or the new Ferrari in his driveway. These, while very attractive, might mask a lack of other qualities which you know he must possess in order to become your "One and Only". It's a good idea to check off items on your list as you find evidence that he fulfills that particular criteria.
Here, then, is my particular list. Yours may be quite different and that's fine. There's enough guys out there for all of us to find a custom fit.
(1.) He should be ordinary-looking. It he's very handsome, he'll probably be conceited. Besides, I want to be the best-looking one of the couple. If he's very ugly, can he be fixed up? Would the services of a competent dentist or perhaps a plastic surgeon help?
(2,) He must be clean and neat. I don't care if his wardrobe is inexpensive but I'd like his hair to be cut and his shoes tied. He should have enough fashion sense to avoid stripes and plaid in the same outfit.
(3.) He must have a steady job, and not in a profession I find distasteful. I'm sorry but I can't see myself crazy about a mortician or someone who works in a fish market, for instance. He should make a decent living wage, but I intend to keep working to supplement the family income.
(4.) He should live a healthy lifestyle. Ask who his family doctor is. If he doesn't have one, that's a red flag. When was his last annual check-up? More than two years ago? That's another danger signal. Maybe he just forgets to make appointments. Ask him why he avoids doctors. His answer should be revealing.
(5.) He must love children. Ask him to tell you about his nieces and nephews or the neighbor's children. You'll be able to tell by the tone of his remarks whether he's fond of them or finds them to be little pains in the neck. If you are hoping to have a family with him, this issue needs to be resolved before you progress any further in the relationship.
(6.) Watch how he treats and speaks about his mother. It's an old truism that he'll treat and refer to wife in the same way, once that early glow of romantic passion has worn off.
(7.) I definitely do not want a hyperactive partner. Can he relax in the evening and contentedly watch a movie or a TV program or does he always have to be on the move? Heaven deliver me from another "Perpetual-motion Machine". They are exhausting!
(8.) Can he find a listing in the phone book in under half an hour? I'm not an intellectual snob, but it would be hard for me to have respect for someone who can't read and write at least on a high school level. Having respect for your mate is an absolute must.
(9.) Does he share at least some of the activities I enjoy? If he is the ultimate sports enthusiast, and I think sports are a complete waste of time and manpower, we're going to have too many problems for peaceful coexistence.
(10.) Religion can be a big stumbling block, not so much between different branches of Christianity, but between a Christian and an adherent of a non-Christian faith. For example, if I'm a Fundamentalist Christian, and he's a devout Muslim, don't even bother meeting for that first coffee date.
There are other differences which will need to be addressed, but they are less important, and open to negotiation: smoking and drinking habits, desired family size, with whose family to spend Christmas, whether or not to have pets, and other minutiae of day-to-day living.
Every girl's list will be different, and that's fine. Making up your list, keeping your requirements in mind, and checking off items as Prince Charming fulfills your qualifications is the surest way to make sure that the two of you have an excellent chance of living happily ever after.
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