What not to tell your boyfriend

When girls first start to date, they sometimes need guidelines about inappropriate comments to make to young men. There are a number of apparently innocent remarks a girl might make which will send her potential Romeo heading for the hills like a frightened antelope.

For the benefit of those young ladies embarking on the dating scene, here are some comments which are much better left unsaid.

1. You don't like his parents

Your date belongs to a family, just as you do. His relatives, especially his parents, are part of his identity. They raised him; they made him who he is today. No family is perfect, but if you hope to continue to date him, you will keep any criticisms or negative feelings about his nearest and dearest ones to yourself.

2. You are smarter, or more talented or earn more than he does

Men like to feel superior. They want girls who look up to them, whom they can care for and spoil and protect. A smart young lady will allow her date to harbor this illusion, and not advertise her intelligence, talent or earning capacity, especially if her own abilities exceed those of her companion.

3. Your former boyfriend was better than he is, in any way at all

Your date wants to feel that he is the best thing that has ever happened to you. Encourage this impression. It will make him feel valued and appreciated.

4. You're planning the wedding, or the number of children you two will have

Unless he's fallen head over heels in love with you, revealing these thoughts will scare the living daylights out of him. Wise girls let the man be first to mention the possibility of any future commitments.

5. Personal details about your routine bodily functions.

Your date wants to place you on a pedestal, always beautiful, wholesome, and healthy. It will not help your cause to tell him about your constipation problem or your painful menstrual cramps.

6. You think one of his friends is very attractive

As mentioned in #3, your date wants to believe that he is the best dating partner you've ever had. It is counterproductive to comment on the admirable qualities of his friends. He will think you're comparing and that you may prefer the friend's company to his.

7. You've cheated in other relationships

To reveal this failing is really dumb! No one wants to become involved with a cheater.

8. He is too fat, bald, or his feet are too big

Review #3. Criticizing him, especially for features of his appearance which he can't help, is very unwise. What if the situation were reversed? How would you feel if he made unflattering remarks about you?

9. You want him to see less of his friends and spend more time with you

Guys don't like clingy, needy girls. He's probably thinking, "If she's like this now, what will she be like when we're married?" Instead, make him wonder what you're doing when he's not around.

10. Unflattering facts about members of your family or your close friends.

Casual dates do not need to know that Uncle Willy is in jail for bank robbery, or that your best friend is a kleptomaniac. These facts should be revealed before marriage certainly, but don't worry, he probably has a few skeletons in his closet.

Most girls, as they become more mature and experienced, will learn these principles of smart dating communication for themselves. However, if you, as a thoughtful friend or relative, were to enlighten them ahead of time, you might save these young ladies a number of unnecessary broken hearts.