You've had a dispute with your partner, a serious one. He's disappeared from your life for the time being. It didn't take long for misery to set in. You called to try to patch things up, but he's not interested.. He thinks he may feel differently later, but right now, he wants his space. You're alone and despondent. How can you help yourself?
1. Talk it out. Call a friend and share the bad news. "Misery shared is misery halved," goes the old saying. Don't feel you're imposing, you two will probably switch roles in the future. One of the benefits of close friendship is having a pseudo-psychologist available when you need one.
2. Try self-talk to work up some anger. "Who on earth does he think he is? God's gift to women? I'm supposed to sit around waiting until he decides whether or not I'm worthy of his attention? Well, we'll just see about that!"
3. Start a project, a demanding one. When I was in this situation, I started to knit a bulky sweater with an intricate pattern. I told myself it was for my new boyfriend, who was right around the next corner. It was average size, so it would also have fit the former one if I ever decided to give him another chance.
4. Look up old friends with whom you may have lost touch. Arrange to go out for a drink or a coffee. Let it be known that you are unattached and available.
5. Make an effort to go some places unescorted: church, the library, lunch or dinner at places you would like to go with a new partner. He might already be there waiting to meet you.
6. Pamper yourself with a makeover. Get a new hairstyle. Have your nails done. Lose a few pounds if you need to. Splurge on some flattering new clothes or jewellery.
7. See the latest movies, watch popular TV shows, listen to the top music groups. Read the newspapers. These will all be good conversation topics when that interesting person comes along. You don't want to be considered "uncool".
8. Sign up for a course, one that will improve your chances for promotion at work, or just an interest course you'll enjoy. Don't be afraid to go alone. Sharing a common interest in course material is a great conversation starter.
9. Paint your apartment. Rearrange the furniture. Add some colorful new accent pieces. Imagine welcoming your new beau to your attractive living quarters. Practice elegant dishes you'll serve for your first meal together.
10. Avoid any place where you might encounter your old flame. If you're going to get over him, he must be out of sight, as well as out of mind. You have better fish to fry. Onward and upward!
You'll know your lovesickness is cured when someone mentions your old flame's name, and you have to stop and think for a moment where you've heard it before.
I've written this essay from a woman's perspective, because that's the one I'm know. I think it should work equally well for lovesick males.
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