Before marriage, most people will go on many first dates. Hardly anyone finds their "soul mate" on the first try. With a little practice, alert singles can learn to recognize and perhaps avoid common trouble spots, which threaten the success of that all-important first evening together.
Here are the danger signals to watch for:
* One party is late
No one likes to be kept waiting. Whether the man arrives at the girl's door half an hour late, or she leaves her date sitting in the living-room while she finishes her preparations, the evening will be off to a bad start. Being late, without a good reason, is a sign of disrespect and carelessness, neither of which bode well for a future successful relationship.
* One party is dressed inappropriately
Plans for the evening and appropriate dress should be discussed ahead of time. You will spare yourself and your date the embarrassment of turning up for a formal dinner in blue jeans or for a barbecue in evening attire. In addition, unless you are sure of your date's preferences, cover the tattoos and stash the face metal. They can actually make some people nauseous.
* You can't agree on where to go
Usually, the one who issues the invitation outlines the plans for the evening. When the invitation is accepted, it is understood that the stated destination is acceptable. Don't try to change your date's mind at the last minute, even if you'd rather go somewhere else. Be gracious and grateful; if you're with the right person, any excursion will be enjoyable.
* Your date's language is vulgar or disrespectful
Everyone wants to be treated with respect, so dating partners should act accordingly. Each party on a first date will be considering whether this person would fit in comfortably with his or her family and friends. If the language is off-color, the attitude discourteous, and the manners appalling, that first date will probably be the last.
* One party monopolizes the conversation
The purpose of a first date is to get to know each other. Are your interests, attitudes and personalities compatible? When one person does all the talking, an exchange of thoughts and ideas never happens. It is quite acceptable for the more outgoing person to talk more during the first part of the evening, as he or she tries to put the other at ease. However, by the latter part of the date, both parties should be doing an equal amount of conversing.
* One party texts or uses a cell phone frequently during the evening
The thoughtful date will turn off the cell phone during the evening. To call or text during a date, except in an emergency, shows poor manners and lack of interest in the current company. No one enjoys being second choice to an unknown person on the other end of a call or text message. If your date enjoy the caller's company so much, why isn't he/she spending the evening with them?
* Your date ends early
When dating partners are really enjoying each other's company, they hope the evening will never end. If either one suggests terminating the date early, it's an indication of trouble. Whether she complains of a headache, or he remembers that he promised his mom to help move furniture, you can be reasonably sure that the evening was not a roaring success.
And, that's O.K. The purpose of a first date is to see if two people are compatible, and if that certain chemical spark, which may lead to love, will be ignited when they spend time in each other's company.
At the end of the evening, you have your answer. This time, the date didn't work out, but there are plenty more fish in the sea. It's time for both of you to move on.
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