Of course, the best way to escape from a relationship is to sit down face-to-face with the other party and declare to him openly that you wish to end it. It's advisable to meet in a neutral area such as a park or a coffee shop. Speak calmly, logically, and try neither to place blame nor hurl insults.
State you own feelings clearly: "I think the obstacles we've encountered are too great to overcome," or, " I need more experience dating others before I settle down to an exclusive relationship." Don't enter into any lengthy discussions. Just state your case firmly, and leave.
If you have reason to believe that this approach will cause a nasty scene, it might be better to write a letter or to leave a message on his answering machine. If you choose either of these options, be prepared for an emotional follow-up meeting.
He's unlikely to be dismissed so easily but at least the initial shock will be over. When he finally catches up with you, reiterate your decision and the reasons for it. Speak plainly but firmly: "I've made up my mind and that's it. There's nothing more to discuss. Goodbye."
For those of us who lack the courage to carry out the cold-blooded procedures outlined above, there many other possibilities, perhaps not as honorable, but easier on the nerves. A few examples follow.
By now you probably know what buttons to push to make him angry. Push one, in fact, push several simultaneously. When he blows up, look distressed and abruptly leave the room. Later, when he tries to apologize, inform him that you were shocked and a little frightened by his irrational temper tantrum and you don't want to see him again. If he tries to harass you, threaten that to report him to the police. Have the phone number for an anger management course to pass along as a parting gesture.
Tell him you have experienced a calling to spend your time on earth doing missionary work in Outer Slobovia. Of course, you want your partner to be at your side for this charitable endeavor. If he doesn't feel ready to make a permanent commitment, it would be best to part now. You obviously will not be building a future together.
Accept a few dates on evenings when he's busy. Try to go where you'll be seen by his friends. When he asks about your extracurricular activities, tell him you were merely entertaining an old friend. When he objects, tell him that one thing you can't tolerate is jealousy. You've been blessed with a sociable nature and you have no intention of stifling it. He'll probably storm off in a fit of rage. All you have to do then is make the rift permanent.
Suddenly develop a passion for classical music, Shakespearean drama, or any other leisure time activity you know he detests. Refuse to watch anything on television but PBS. Borrow a few classical CD's from the library to play at high volume whenever he's around. Hush him when he tries to speak. Tell him that anything crude or common, like sports or bar-hopping makes you physically ill. To prove your point, omit make-up and daub talcum powder on your face the next time he tries to watch football or hockey. With a little luck, he'll soon be history.
Usually, the difficulty in any relationship is to avoiding arguments. If you're a patient person, simply wait for the next disagreement. When it appears, blow it up out of all proportion. Rant, rave, stamp around, throw one or two items (unbreakable, of course). Make your final performance for this particular audience, one to remember. If you carry off the scene well enough, your problem will be solved.
I have written from a female perspective, because that's the one I know. These suggestions could easily be adapted by male readers wishing to be rid of the distaff side of the relationship.
Remember the ultimate goal of the exercise is to extricate yourself from a relationship causing as little pain as possible to either party. Remember, too, the plotting, planning and effort necessary to accomplish your objective. With these considerations in mind, try to avoid jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. Do not enter another relationship until a reasonable length of time has elapsed: a week at the very least.
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