Signs your boyfriend just wants to be a friend

There are certain guys about whom you should never get serious. One of these types is the player who enjoys collecting girlfriends as shoppers collect air miles. After a few dates, you'll begin to suspect that your feelings for him are deeper than his are for you.

He may string you along, because he really does enjoy your company, but he has no intention of entering a serious relationship. He likes you all right but not in "that" way. Although he may not come right out and state his intentions, or rather, lack of them, there will be certain signs which a clever girl will learn to identify:

* He never dresses up for a date. He's always in casual attire. He could be going out with you or meeting the guys for a drink at the corner pub. There's no indication from his outfit that a date with you is anything special in his normal routine.

* He calls at the last minute and expects you to drop everything and join him for the activity of the day. He often suggests going "dutch", because he's a little short of cash at the moment.

* Several times he has canceled dates at the last moment, because something else had come up. The more clever men will think up quite plausible excuses. The slower ones will not be as creative. Could a young person possibly have nine sick friends with whom he has to sit, in the space of six weeks?

*You won't hear from him for a week or two, only to have him resurface with no explanation for his absence. If you ask where he has been, he becomes quite defensive. "What are you, my mother or something?"

* He spends almost as much time with your brother, sister, or other family members, as he does with you. He enjoys spending time at your house, whether you're there or not. This may be a good quality, except when you begin to wonder just who his favorite family member is.

* He's conspicuously absent on Valentine's Day.

* He will avoid being identified as your escort to any significant public event, such as a wedding, a funeral, or a graduation. If he agrees to go at all, he'll meet you there, and spend most of the time circulating. He does not want the two of you classed as a "couple".

*You'll receive generic gifts for Christmas and your birthday, nothing at all romantic: a subscription to " Newsweek", a barometer, a framed print of a moose in the wild, or something along those lines.

* He'll probably have a cutesy nickname for you that implies friendly affection, but not romantic interest, such as Curly-top or Smiley.

* Finally, in frustration, you'll have to come right out and ask him directly where he thinks this "alliance" is going. He'll probably become quite indignant and inquire why you want to spoil a good thing. You enjoy each other's company, and that should be enough. He has no plans to change the status quo. This is your signal that it's time to move on.

Dispirited as you may be, delaying the parting of the ways is futile. By remaining, you are enabling this would-be Peter Pan to carry on with his carefree, comfortable lifestyle with no commitments and no responsibilities. You are doing no favor to him or to yourself.

He is only wasting your time. You have girlfriends whose company you enjoy, and for whom you don't need to put the rest of your life on hold. Chalk up the situation to experience.

Remember the signs of a boyfriend who only wants to be a friend, and move on to find a love which is the real thing. You'll probably be settled down, and well on your way to "happily ever after", while he's still fooling around, trying to avoid growing up.