You see a stranger, maybe at a party, whose appearance immediately attracts you. He may not be the most glamorous person in the world, but there's just something about him... Maybe he resembles your dad or a favorite teacher. How can you arrange a date, so that you can become better acquainted?
First, you have to start a conversation. Is there anyone around who can introduce you? If not, approach in a non-threatening manner, with a smile and extended hand. "Hi, I'm Chris. May I ask you where you got that tie (or those earrings)? I'm looking for one just that shade for my dad's (or mom's) birthday."
Everyone loves to be asked for help or advice. You can choose any topic wherein he is likely to be more knowledgeable than you. He'll be happy to enlighten you. You could ask here if a spouse picked out the tie. If he's spoken for, you may as well stop now. Nothing but trouble and heartache lie down that path.If he's single, carry on.
Now that you're talking, try to broaden the focus. "Dad really hates wearing ties, but he works in a bank, so he doesn't have much choice. Do you normally look that great at work? If he's smiling, and seems interested, you can now find out where he works, if he's occupationally well-adjusted, and how he hopes his career will unfold in the future.
If you happen to be in the same field or a related one, you can proceed to discuss mutual business acquaintances, good outlets for your products, or available courses which would be helpful for promotion. You might decide to carpool to an upcoming lecture or seminar, all in the interest of business, of course.
If this avenue leads to a dead end, try another."Wow! You work so darn hard, you must need some pretty intensive down time. What do you do to relax?" If he mentions sports, movies, theater, anything that isn't a solo activity, you can suddenly develop an interest in the same pastime. This presents endless possibilities for shared pursuits.
Even if he only likes reading lengthy eighteenth century novels written in German, you can promise to browse your favorite book stores when you're there anyway, and call him if you find one by his favorite author. You'll need his phone number, of course.
At this point, you might decide to leave and grab a coffee at Tim Horton's. It's been a long day. Would he care to join you? If not, bid him a pleasant goodnight and remark that you enjoyed the conversation and hope to meet him again.
In a few days, you might come into possession of two tickets for one of his favorite pastimes. It seems a shame to go alone, when you are sure he would enjoy the evening too. He may be happy to join you. I hope you kept that phone number.
If you're really determined, you could actually hit the book stores and look for that German novel.
These strategies may help you meet some very interesting people. They work more often than not. For those times that they don't, dwell on positives. At least you have the satisfaction of knowing you gave it your best shot. Regard it as a practice run for when that really, really interesting person comes along. Every time, it will get easier. Sooner or later, you'll meet the one who was meant for you.
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